You Matter Too: Bonding, Support and Space for Dads and Co-Parents

By Katherine – Paediatric Nurse | Health Visitor | Maternal Wellbeing Practitioner

August often brings a little more breathing space for families. With holidays, slower mornings, and more time together, it’s often one of the few times Dads and co-parents can step more fully into the daily rhythms of parenting - especially in those early baby months.

While Dads might not always process or talk in the same way, that doesn’t mean they don’t need - or want - support. And with the growth of shared parental leave and changing roles within families, I’ve noticed more and more Dads stepping into those early parenting moments with confidence, curiosity, and care. In fact, many have come along to my Weaning sessions recently because they’re the ones who’ll be at home with the baby at that stage.

That said, it can sometimes feel hard to know how to help - especially if your baby is feeding often (and breastfeeding), and you’re not the one with the milk. But feeding is only one small part of the parenting journey.

But let’s start by acknowledging something important: Every family is different.

Some Dads are commuting long hours. Others work shifts or from home. Some are the main caregivers while their partner returns to work. In some families, it's two mums or two Dads, or parenting is shared in different ways. Whatever your family looks like, the emotional load of parenting is real - and so is the pressure.

For many, the non-birthing parent doesn’t get the same consistent time with their little one, and this can bring unseen pressures on both sides.

There’s a quiet narrative that can creep in: 

👉 That work outside the home is a ‘break’ compared to being with the baby. 

👉 That Dads or co-parents should walk through the door and instantly take over - no complaints - even after a long, demanding day. 

👉 That if you’re getting more sleep or time away, you don’t get to say “this is hard.”

At the same time, families are juggling more than ever: 

💰 Financial pressures 

📉 Emotional challenges around maternity and paternity leave 

🎯 Social expectations to ‘have it all’ and make it look easy 

🧠 Identity shifts, changing dynamics, and trying to stay connected

These aren’t small things. They’re real and valid, and they deserve space.

Seeing Dads (and partners) in the picture

I’ve seen how deeply Dads care and how much they want to be involved - especially those who are home during shared parental leave.

Still, many quietly wonder:

“What can I actually do to help, especially if I’m not the one feeding?”

Especially when their baby is solely breastfeeding lots - and not having expressed or formula milk - it can feel like there's no clear way to connect or be useful.

But here’s the truth:

Bonding is about so much more than feeding.

There are so many beautiful, meaningful ways to build your relationship with your baby. These everyday moments don’t just strengthen your connection - they support your baby’s brain development, emotional wellbeing, and sense of security.

💛 Here are a few simple but powerful ways to connect:

👶 Start with your voice - Babies recognise and are soothed by your voice even before birth. Chat, sing, hum, read out loud - it all helps build familiarity and comfort.

🛁 Take charge of bath time - Baths are sensory, calming, and full of bonding potential. It’s also a great way to create your own special routine.

👐 Baby Massage - Gentle touch promotes relaxation and connection. It also supports your baby’s sleep, digestion, and development. You can learn at home with my Online Baby Massage & Relaxation Toolkit. It includes relaxations for you to choose from, just like in class plus all the incredible benefits of Baby Massage to share, enjoy and make memories with.

🧢 Babywearing - Keeping your baby close while getting things done is incredibly bonding for both of you. It’s also great for contact naps!

🧸 Play and be silly - Peekaboo, nursery rhymes, blowing raspberries — you might feel silly, but your baby loves it. These early interactions are packed with learning and joy.

📖 Read together - You don’t need to wait until they’re “old enough.” Reading helps with language, rhythm, attention and is a lovely way to wind down.

🧼 Nappy changes & soothing moments - Yes, even these tasks can be precious. Eye contact, smiles, calm talking — they’re all building blocks of your bond.

🧡 It’s not just about the baby

By being present and involved, you’re also giving your partner something invaluable -  time to rest, eat, or take a much-needed shower. When one parent is carrying the majority of the physical recovery and feeding needs, that practical support is gold.

You don’t need to “get it right.” You just need to show up, stay curious, and connect.

Because…

You matter too. Your baby wants to know you. Your support makes all the difference.

It’s important you get the chance to relax in any small way, as relaxed parents = happy baby, plus you need and deserve that time with all you are juggling.  

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👋 Would you like more support?

I’d love to hear from you. Would a Saturday morning Baby Massage session just for Dads and co-parents be helpful?

You can also try my Online Baby Massage and Relaxation Course from home — designed for you to enjoy together at your own pace, with short, accessible videos you can dip into anytime.

And if you’re looking for more support tailored to Dads, I really recommend the UK-based organisation Dad Matters, which offers brilliant resources and encouragement.

Let’s keep the conversation open. Whether you’re a Dad, a co-parent, or a support figure - you are an essential part of your baby’s world.

You're not a spare part.

 You're not “just helping.”

 You're parenting.

 And you’re doing better than you think.